The sun was setting, when one of the voluntaries approached Eleisa’s bed, with a small bowl of soup.
«Here.» he handed it to her.
She let out a surprised exclamation, turning toward the source of the voice.
«H-Here? Who is it? I, I can’t…»
«Give it to me.» Helena said to the voluntary. «I am taking care of this.»
Realizing he had made an embarrassing mistake, the man yielded the bowl to her and left with a bow.
She had intervened without thinking, using the confident tone full of authority she was used to employ as the Exarch. She wondered if the real Agatha Eleisina would have spoken like that or would have elicited the same obedience.
«What’s happening, Agatha?»
«Dinner has come, Mother.»
«“Mother”?» Eleisa arched her eyebrows, puzzled.
Curses!
«“Mom”, I meant “Mom”.» Fortunately the woman could not see her biting her lip. «Here, open your mouth.»
She meekly complied, but the moment her lips touched the soup she yelped: «Ah! It’s hot!»
«Let me feel it.» Helena took a small sample and had to stop herself from yelping too: Eleisa was right, it was scalding hot.
«Forgive me. I will blow on it from here onward. They could have been more careful.»
«No, no, don’t blame them. They’re doing their best.»
The next glassturn passed in silence. Helena would regularly take a spoonful of soup, blow on it and then feed the blind woman.
Darkness started to fall, and the lamp at the center of the tent was uncovered, bathing the environment in white light.
Meanwhile, Helena’s ears caught the voices of the other guests of the shelter.
«Precious Earth, it hurts!»
«I lost everything… Everything…»
«If only I had remained in Elis, nothing of this would have happened.»
«Semna Tritina was right. We should have abandoned the Exarch and ask the lord Zamoshan to give us sanctuary inside the walls.»
«Curse that girl! And curse her father too! This is all their fault!»
«Agatha,» Eleisa suddenly said, distracting her from the voices «that’s enough for me. Now it’s your turn to eat: you must be hungry.»
Helena put down the bowl beside her. «Do not worry, Moth… Don’t worry, Mom. I… I’ll eat later.»
She smiled softly. «You have really grown. It seems yesterday that you were so small in my arms…»
Not even Helena herself would have been able to say why those words had struck her so. And yet they made her think about the mother she had never known.
Did fate grant you the time to hold me in your arms at least once? Would you be telling me the same things, had you lived to see this day?
«You were always frail.» Eleisa continued. «Or rather… I always considered you frail. You were precious to me, you were my baby girl. When you got sick, I feared I was going to lose my mind.»
«N-Now is not the time for this.» Helena started to feel uneasy.
«No, now is the time.» the woman insisted. «I wanted to protect you. I wanted to keep you safe. But I’m not a fool: I know this made you suffer. I know you always felt inadequate and in need of proving yourself. There’s something I have to tell you, and I realized I have to tell you now, before it’s too late.»
«There’s… there’s no need.» I am not the person you have to tell it to, whatever it is.
Eleisa reached out with one hand and caressed her face.
«Agatha… you never needed to prove me anything. I’m sorry for having been selfish with you. I… I am proud of you. And I love you. And if your father were still with us, he too…»
Stupid woman, I am not your daughter! You’re making this speech to the wrong person! Please, stop this! ENOUGH!
«Ah, there she is!» an extraneous voice interrupted the blind woman.
In a corner of Helena’s field of view, captain Astor appeared. Behind him Ergon as well was approaching her.
«My E-» the captain began, before Helena furiously gestured him to not say it.
«Who, who is it?» Eleisa asked, drawing back her hand.
Helena exchanged a glance with Astor, then she said: «Mom, there are some people I have to talk to. I’ll come back later, you rest up.»
«Agatha, what’s wrong?» Eleisa sounded like an abandoned small animal.
«Nothing, Mom. Don’t worry. I’ll be back immediately, I promise.»
That seemed to placate her. She nodded and then lied down on her bed.
Helena stood up and said in a low voice to the two who had come looking for her: «My tent. We will speak there.»
«As you wish, my Exarch.» said Ergon. «However… you’re crying. Are you alright?»
She brought a hand to her cheek, and felt wetness on her fingers.
«Yes. I am absolutely fine. Let us go.»
Once they had returned to her tent, Helena sat down and crossed her legs, ready to listen to the two’s report.
«How did the audience go?»
Astor answered her: «The lord Zamoshan welcomed us warmly, but he said he had expected to see you.»
«He was very nervous.» Ergon joined in. «And when we told him that the assailants tried to kidnap you he looked extremely troubled.»
«Was he troubled because they tried to kidnap me, or because they tried to kidnap me?»
«The latter, in my humble opinion. He vehemently asked to see you in person. He seemed to be afraid that we were lying and that the kidnapping had succeeded.»
Good, we have instilled doubt in him. The deception is working. And yet…
«I believe he is completely innocent, my Exarch.» The captain spoke again, giving Ergon an annoyed glare. «At least, in regards to this attack.»
It was not part of his plan. Helena still had not spoken to any of the two of Bek-cherek and his revelations. She tried to analyze this new information in the light of what the hinzanian spy had told her. This kidnapping was an event even the lord had not foreseen; what could this mean?
Sometimes, in Elis, Helena had played an ancient board game called “chess”: two players faced each other in an arena divided into squares, the “chessboard”, moving by turns their armies of game pieces. It was a very complex game, requiring great tactical intelligence. She had never considered herself particularly good at playing it, but in that moment she was imagining her situation exactly as if it were a game of chess between her and Zamoshan. And on the chessboard a move had just been made, that neither player was responsible for. What was going on?
Could a third contender have joined the game, completely independent from either of them? No, that was unlikely. Not only Helena could not imagine anyone else who could be interested in her, but even if there were… how could this individual or faction had known where to find her, without Zamoshan’s help?
There had to be another explanation, but how? She could not imagine anyone that made sense: the move had to have come from Zamoshan, so how could it have surprised him?
No, she then thought suddenly, it is the assumption that is wrong.
The game was not between her and Zamoshan.
Zamoshan was the one sitting in the chair opposite her at that moment. But behind him, there was someone else.
That someone had stretched out his hand and personally made a move, without telling Zamoshan.
«Sofron.» she said. «Behind this attack, there’s Sofron Arystid himself.»
«The Regent?!» Ergon exclaimed.
«My Exarch, how could the Regent discover where we are?» Astor asked. «And also… do you really think your uncle would stoop so low as to employ So’els? After everything that they did to us? After everything that they did to your very family?»
Helena answered sternly: «That man has mobilized the army against his own people. He forced an entire city into exile. And he would have sentenced his own brother to death. You tell me, Astor, do you really think he would not stoop so low?»
Astor shut up and lowered his gaze, making the tent fall into a tense silence.
It was Ergon who broke it: «My Exarch, there’s more: we’ve found more citizens who had disappeared from the camp.»
He immediately had all of Helena’s attention: «Where were they? Are they back now?»
The mekhan shook his head. «They’re occupying the staircase of the palace. They asked Zamoshan for sanctuary inside the walls and are openly rejecting you: they say you failed to protect them. I fear…» he hesitated, before saying it «that they are lost to us.»
She thought back to the voices she had heard in the shelter. «In a sense they are right. For now there is nothing we can do about that.»
It was an issue she could not underestimate, but before the situation got out of hand she was going to think of something.
«With this, the people still unaccounted for are down to four. Of course, excluding Agatha Eleisina.» Ergon resumed.
«Who are those four?»
«A single family: Yugis Emporid, Kora Gelina and their two children. Witnesses last saw them flee into the city during the attack, since then they have disappeared.»
«I see. Keep looking for them. Every single citizen matters.»
Both Ergon and captain Astor made a bow.
«Is there anything else?»
«No, my Exarch.» Astor answered.
«Good. Then go back to your duties. I will return to the shelter.»
«The shelter? Why?» Ergon asked.
Helena sighed. «Because right now I am not your Exarch.»
In more ways than one, she thought.
«Try to get some sleep, ‘Tar. You’re not looking too good.»
Mikka was simply worried about him, Elef understood that. However he felt that, despite his tiredness, he wouldn’t be able to sleep if he tried. Furthermore…
«Where should I get it? My cot is over there.»
Or at least it was. Now it was taken by a man whose chest was wrapped in bloodied bandages.
After the attack, it was quickly decreed that the tent Elef had been assigned to up to that moment would become a shelter for the injured. A sensible decision, considering that most of said injured belonged to it. But Elef wasn’t among them. He hadn’t suffered even a single scratch.
«You must have been reassigned, like me, right?» the girl insisted. «Maybe this time you’ll end up in the same tent as your family. I think they’d be happy to see you. Especially now.»
Elef took a quick breath through his teeth. I’m the one not wanting to see them. Especially now.
Among those who had stood guard at the tent that day, Elef was the only survivor. But as in a joke made in extremely poor taste, this time nobody had accused him of desertion. On the contrary, some of his tent-mates had spoken of his heroism in promptly drawing his mikra and aiming it at the assailant who had suddenly entered by ripping the covering. According to them, the only reason he had been unable to nip the menace in the bud had been the widespread panic. After hearing those witnesses, the other watchers had all loudly praised his coolheadedness; even his boorish decarch had told him: “Perhaps I had misjudged you.” And of course even Mikka was in utter admiration.
Hero, that was what they called him now. Just like he had always dreamed. He almost wanted to laugh.
He looked at Mikka. He wondered if she’d still be smiling at him like that, if she knew the truth.
Of course not.
Nobody smiled at a coward. Yes, he was a coward, there was no more denying it. Not just because fear had paralyzed him when confronted with the enemy, but also, no, especially because now he was too scared to tell the truth.
He looked away, disgusted with himself.
After a few moments of silence, Mikka spoke again: «Did you hear about the Exarch? Nobody has seen her since before the attack.»
«What are you talking about? Then who gave the order to…?» he spread his arms to encompass the cots, the injured and the voluntaries all around them.
«They say it was her. But I haven’t yet heard any of our companions say they received it in person. It seems she’s been cooped up in her tent without ever getting out. And certain rumors are spreading…»
Elef felt like he was listening to Fyra. He had to make an effort not to get rude with her.
«What rumors?» he asked, unable to completely hide his annoyance.
«They say someone has seen the assailants take with them a girl who was dressed like the Exarch, when they ran away.»
«And you believe this crap?»
«Oh, no, no. But still… it’s interesting. Imagine if it really happened.» Mikka moved in order to once again enter his field of view.
As he made her acquaintance, Elef had realized that these conversations were her way of cheering him up. Even right now, Mikka had understood something was tormenting him, and she was trying to distract him. At times Elef thought that girl was dangerously air-headed and didn’t realize what she was saying, but he had no doubt she meant no harm: for her that scenario really was interesting. And to be perfectly honest she had managed to distract him, for a while.
Knowing that though only made him more sullen.
I don’t deserve all this regard.
There was something wrong with him. He had had two chances to prove his worth, and both times he had failed to pull the trigger. Why? Cowardice had nothing to do with it, not with that. It was something else.
He tried to recall how he had felt in those moments. He thought back to that gasping face in Elis, the soldier he had shot, and he felt his hands start shaking.
What is this feeling? Why do I feel like this?
Before he could get to an answer, suddenly a familiar-looking girl passed him by. His gaze followed her, as he tried to remember where he had seen her before, and he realized she was headed to one specific bed. Elef knew the person lying on that bed: Eleisa Kalina; Kalos and Agatha’s mother.
The girl sat down by the cot and talked with the woman for some time, holding her hand.
«She’s a very good daughter.» Mikka said.
That puzzled Elef. «What?»
«She’s that woman’s daughter. Her name’s “Agatha” if I got it correctly. She’s been at her side the entire afternoon.»
«No, that’s not…»
Elef tried to get a better look. Yes, the clothes were Agatha’s. But… her face wasn’t. And yet she was so familiar. Why?
Am I going crazy? I can’t even recognize my friend’s sister now?
The more he tried to associate that face to Agatha or their group of friends and the more his memory told him he was wrong, that wasn’t where he was supposed to look.
And then, he had a flash.
That face, contracted in a stern expression, right in front of him, on the other side of an unadorned table. A young woman sitting on a battered chair. A young woman he was going to be judged by.
«That’s the Exarch.» he muttered in disbelief.
«What did you say?» Mikka asked.
He was reminded of the rumor she had told him earlier.
Nobody has seen the Exarch since before the attack.
The assailants took with them a girl who was dressed like the Exarch.
The Exarch is here, now, and for some reason she’s pretending she’s Agatha.
Elef didn’t understand what was going on, or why. But a terrible thought crept into his mind.
«What’s wrong? You’re looking even worse than before.» Mikka sounded worried.
«I have to…» Elef tried to speak, while an unknown fear gripped him. «There’s someone I have to speak to.»
«Now? They must be asleep.»
This managed to calm him down at least a little.
Yes. What use would there be in waking Kalos at that hour? If there was no problem, he’d have disturbed him for nothing. And it there was a problem: since Agatha was involved, probably Kalos was already aware of it; and since the Exarch was involved, probably things were under control.
«Come on, go to sleep for tonight.» Mikka told him.
«Alright.» he answered, trying to sound confident. «Alright. I’ll try.»
Giving one final glance to the girl beside Eleisa, Elef exited the shelter. In the night, the camp was lit only by a few scant lamps. Every object cast long shadows on the ground and nearby walls.
He headed for his new tent.
He could wait until morning. That was the most prudent course of action.
Yes, “prudent”.
The wind brought him the sound of a laugh, from far away.
Elef couldn’t shake the feeling he was the one they were laughing at.
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