«Filel, wait!»
The man stopped, at the boundary of the camp they had haphazardly built among the ruins, letting Kal approach him.
But neither him nor his wife turned to look at the boy.
«Why go back?»
«Our son is there.» was Filel’s answer.
«You know he isn’t. I told you.»
«Did you see his body?» His voice sounded tired. In these two days, he seemed to have aged fifteen years.
«Filel, he fell in the river…»
«Did you or did you not?»
Kal knew what Filel would say if he answered sincerely, but by now he was out of ways to make the man change his mind: «No, I did not.»
«Then there is a chance he’s still alive. And I will find him.» Filel replied, just like Kal expected. «And even if he really were…» he did not finish.
Kal made one final attempt: «Eumela, talk to him please. Even if you reach the boats again and cross the river, you’ll only get arrested or worse!»
«Don’t make me talk, Kal.» the woman looked at him. «I don’t want to risk saying something unfair, that I’d regret later.»
Kal saw her face was stained with tears. He had never seen her cry.
«“Something unfair”? What do you mean?»
She did not answer, and just left together with her husband.
Kal wanted to stop them, but then he understood.
She was trying to not blame me.
Kal was the one holding Mak’s hand when he fell. It would have been understandable to consider him at least partly responsible for his death. If only he had been stronger, maybe…
Kal shook his head. Eumela herself said it would be unfair to blame him. If he let guilt any space in his mind, it would overwhelm him.
Still, he was no longer able to say anything to the two grieving parents.
He just watched them get farther and farther away. No one else tried to stop them.
«They really have left, just like Kal said yesterday.» Agatha said, as she came back to one of the tents the watchers had set up.
«They won’t be the last to leave.» said her mother, somberly, while sitting on her cot. «Many children have stayed behind to allow their parents to flee. And these parents are starting to understand they’ll never see them again.» she accompanied the last sentence with a sigh.
«But why leave? It makes no sense. There’s no longer anything for them in Elis.»
«Perhaps they feel there’s nothing for them here either.»
«What do you mean? Don’t they care about their life?»
Eleisa Kalina smiled compassionately to her daughter: «Agatha, there comes a moment in our life when we find something…» she paused, as if to find the right words «…that is more important than ourselves. From that moment on, we live for that ‘something’. And if we suddenly lose it, all reason to go on living goes away with it.»
«I don’t understand. I mean, for example: Dad is gone, and yet… I still want to live.»
Yes. Once she and the others reached this camp, when finally Agatha had the time to stop and fully realize she’d never see her father again, she had cried all her tears. Her father was one of the people she loved most in the whole world, but despite her sadness she felt she still wanted to live.
«That means he… he wasn’t my ‘something’.» she finished, sitting down beside her mother.
«Of course he wasn’t.» her mother said, hugging her. «He was your father, it doesn’t work that way.»
Looking at her slender arms, no one outside their family would have expected such a strong embrace.
«For the longest time, he was mine.» she continued, tenderly caressing her hair. «And had we not had you two, maybe he’d still be. But ever since the day you were born, you and Kal have been our ‘something’, for both of us. And no moment passes that I’m not grateful for still having you with me.»
Then her mother sighed again, before finishing: «If only everyone was capable of feeling such gratitude…»
Elef looked at the ceiling.
The sight of the overcast sky was blocked by the dark beamed roof of one of the least damaged buildings the watchers had found in the ruins.
He frowned. Clouds would have been less boring. And a better distraction from the pain.
He slightly adjusted himself under the covers, and doing that caused him pain. Getting up and laying down was painful, any movement was painful, even breathing was painful.
That young medic had told him that it was a good sign, it meant the fever was going down, and Elef believed him.
But that pain wasn’t the one he needed a distraction from.
Though, if there were distraction this wouldn’t be a cell, he thought bitterly.
It was an improvised one, but it was still a cell. Outside the door two watchers stood guard, with the order to keep their eyes on him and prevent him from running away if he tried.
When he and the others had arrived at the ruins, everyone had been so eager to help him.
«Oh, poor boy!»
«Careful not to open his wound back up again!»
«Don’t worry, you’re going to make it!»
But the tones had changed drastically the moment they had seen the insignia on his uniform, the gray fist of the Second Company.
«A deserter!»
«Was he wounded before or after turning tail and running?»
«My son wore that same symbol! How dare you abandon him and all your other companions? You cursed coward!»
Come to think of it, perhaps the two watchers also had the purpose of preventing the citizens from “taking justice into their own hands”. In their rage they had even tried to shoo the medic away. Probably, at the moment he was the most hated person in the entire camp.
But this pain wasn’t the one Elef wanted to escape from either.
What really anguished him was the sight of his parents, distant, away from the crowd. Their indifferent glance, glazed with disgust and disappointment, and the way they had reacted when someone from the crowd had said: «Hey! This is your son, isn’t he?»
«You are wrong.» his father had said. «I have no idea who that boy is.»
«Our son died in Elis.» his mother had said. «Leave us alone.»
He heard his two colleagues talking with someone. After a few short words, someone entered the cell.
Elef didn’t turn to see who it was. He instead looked fully the other way, at the cost of feeling pain.
«Elef.» his mother’s voice. «It’s me. Please look at me.»
He didn’t obey.
«I know you’re angry, it’s to be expected. I’m sorry for what I said four days ago, I mean it.»
Actually Elef wasn’t angry. He was just… tired.
«But, you need to understand. There was that large, furious crowd, so I got scared. I also have your little brothers to think about. What would be of them if something happened to me?»
The young man did not answer.
«And also, well, you know your father, don’t you? He wished so much for you to move up in the world, so that he’d move up as well. He had plans for you, and now you… I mean, they’re all ruined.»
Elef couldn’t help himself from flinching.
«If it were for him, we’d all have to forget you.» she continued. «But I, I’m just glad that you’re still alive.»
He felt a hand caress his shoulder.
«You’ll see, it’ll be alright. People will calm down, and sooner or later your father will come around as well. And when he does, we’ll all celebrate together.»
The person stood up and left.
Elef didn’t move. He felt a weird sensation, as if he had already heard those words.
Because he actually had.
They were almost the same words his father had told him the day before.
«Elef, be reasonable, what could I have done? That mob would have torn us to shreds. And what would have happened to your little brothers after that? Also, come on, we both know how your mother is. The life we lead, between the city and the fields, she always resented it. In you she had put all her hopes of entering high society, and now you… well, from her point of view it’s all been a giant waste of time. For her, you no longer exist. If she knew I came to visit you, oh, I can’t imagine how mad she’d get! But me, I’m just happy to see you’re still alive. You’ll see, everything will work out. They can’t stay mad forever, neither your mother nor the other citizens. And once they calm down, we’ll make a big party, you, me, Mom and everyone else. How about it?»
Elef closed his eyes, tired of watching that dark ceiling or those gray walls.
And careful not to let himself be heard, he started weeping.
«It’s already been almost a week since we stopped here.» captain Astor said to her.«The citizens are becoming restless, and our provisions keep decreasing. If we want to go to Istak we have to leave now!»
«Have you seen my father’s condition? We cannot move until he is better.» Helena answered him. She was tired of constantly arguing with him. Every day he said the same things, as if she did not know them already.
«I am very capable of speaking for myself, Helena.» said her father, from his bed. Despite his attempts at acting otherwise, his voice was hoarse and strained.
She glanced at him, and immediately regretted it. Every day his face was becoming paler, his eyes hollower.
«For now, you are. But if you insist in doing so your healing will be slower than what it already is. You must do nothing more than rest.»
«Helena, listen to me…» the sentence ended in a whimper.
«Do not try to stand up! Curses, we have to change your bandages! Ergon, do I have to think about everything or do you finally intend to make yourself useful?!»
«Right away.» The man she had called put himself to work immediately, with Helena’s relief. She was not brave enough to look at his father’s injury, that still was not healing.
«If I’m allowed to ask, Helena Dorina,» said Ergon suddenly, while he worked with precision, «how long have you been awake? Your health is important as well.»
Something in the calm tone of her father’s attendant irritated her. She was aware that it was just another symptom of her lack of sleep, and yet she could not help replying: «Instead of worrying about me, why do you not worry about your exarch like everyone else? Why are your medicines not working?»
«My medicines are working, Helena Dorina.» he answered, as calm as before, without interrupting the work on his patient’s bandages. «As they have worked on that boy who arrived five days ago. However, in the case of your father the wound is much deeper, and close to many vital organs. I am doing what I can.»
«If what you can will not suffice…»
«Helena, enough!» her father sat up on the bed. «You are right, at the moment I am unable to travel. However, Astor is just as right: we cannot stay here much longer. We have a mission to fulfill.»
Helena knew he’d say that.
«We will fulfill it.» she told him. «But before that, you need to get better, do you not see? You can’t…»
You can’t leave me.
«Fret not, in two days I will feel well enough. And two days from now we will leave. Can we allow ourselves this small reprieve, Astor?»
The captain of the First Company said nothing for a moment, visibly embarrassed, then he answered: «Yes, I think we can.»
«Perfect, then.» Helena’s father smiled, before speaking to her again. «This is my promise to you, Helena. In exchange for this promise, you now have to go rest. Do we have an agreement?»
Helena found herself unable to argue. She felt she was about to cry, but she controlled herself. She only said «As you wish, Father.» and left, followed by the captain.
The very moment she left the room, all her strength abandoned her. She had not realized how tired she was.
Fortunately Astor prevented her from falling to the ground and accompanied her to her chambers, where she laid down and immediately fell asleep.
Afterword
If you followed the recent chapters, you probably have a few questions about the illustrations that popped up without any warning.
Since the beginning, I wanted images to go together with the text, but I’ve had to face a grave obstacle:
I can’t draw.
No, I’ll be more honest: I don’t enjoy drawing nearly as much as writing.
So… I had to use a technique that I’m sure will bother many.
I know it’s still a host topic of discussion, it’s considered “cheating”, it’s a “lazy” way to approach making art, it shook the entire industry to its core with its appearance, and believe me I have no intention of calling myself an “artist” after such a low act, but still…
Yes, I’ll be using 3D models.
I hope you can forgive me.
And if you like what you read, and maybe even the images you see, still tell your friends!
Saiai Webnovels 
Leave a comment